Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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