i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
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I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
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After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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