we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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