Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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