eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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