I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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