Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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