I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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