WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
jump out the window naked night went bad
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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