We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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