i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize