he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
