it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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