Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
