She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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