i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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