This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
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I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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