This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize