I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
