Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
