She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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