In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
