i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
This toilet bowl is my home.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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