but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
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