If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
