Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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