I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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