I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
