i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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