My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
