I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
