Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
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how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
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The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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