absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Your cock deserves a montage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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