i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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