why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
