Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
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I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
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hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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