she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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