she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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