I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Randomize
