You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
