Me. At least after what I've been through.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
