That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
When did angry sex become our thing?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
