im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
