oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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