You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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