brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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