did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize