ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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