She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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