chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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