She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
We are all done wearing pants today
Who died my cat blue again?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
