While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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