I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
